People: So, do you have any hobbies?
Me: I like pretending.
People: What?
Me: Pretending I'm talented. Pretending I can draw. Pretending I can play musical instruments really well. Pretending I don't write shit. Pretending I'm really smart. Pretending I have a brilliant and analytical mind. Pretending I have self-control. Pretending characters and celebrities are in love with each other. Pretending characters and celebrities are in love with me. Pretending I completely understand social situations. Pretending I don't care what other people think of me. Pretending I do care what other people think about dumb shit. Pretending I don't give a fuck when I really give all the fucks.
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